You really need to take a day off, but you just don’t have a good reason to miss work. We have all been there, it’s a beautiful day and you just can’t bear the thought of going to work. So you call in with some lame excuse for not going in, but you know that your boss isn’t buying it. So instead of enjoying a wonderful day in the sun, you wind up worried that you might lose your job. That’s no way to play hooky from work.

The fake sick routine is rather lame, plus nobody in the office is giving you any respect if you are staying home a lot with a cold. Now, staying home from work because you got food poisoning from gas station sushi, now that is impressive. What’s even more impressive is if you miss work because you got sick because you gave mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to a woman who choked on a piece of gas station sushi who was sick. Very impressive.

For your enjoyment, Shred Monkeys, your Orlando mobile shredding service, presents you with great excuses to miss a day of work.

Because You Have Been Killing it at Work and Earned it

No one can argue with performance. If you plan ahead a little bit and come in a little early for a few days and leave a little late, it looks like you are putting forth a lot of extra effort. Then when that beautiful day comes, you simply call your boss and say you need a day off to re-energize your battery because you have been working really hard for a few weeks.

If You are Calling in Sick, Make Sure it is Rather Obscure and Contagious

The cold and flu are common ailments, but boring as heck and hardly worth the effort to use as an excuse. If you are going to call in sick, you need to have contracted something not everybody is familiar with or something that is really contagious. If you need a day off work, call your boss and say you have whooping cough, typhoid fever or tuberculous.

You Have Stomach Cramps

Don’t be so fast to dismiss this one. Telling your boss you have bad stomach cramps put him or her in a very awkward situation. First of all, there are any number of reasons why someone would have stomach cramps, and most of them call for embarrassing details. So it is unlikely any questions will be asked.

You Have an Appointment With a Specialist

Using the excuse you have a doctor’s appointment to miss work has been over-used. Not only that, it isn’t all that original. It is better if you can be more specific about the appointment. For example, you can’t go to work because you have an appointment with your gynecologist, podiatrist or gastroenterologist. It might raise a few eyebrows, but nobody is going to deny you a day off or ask any questions.

Your Dog Got Stuck in the Dog Door

This does happen, Fido lets himself go and gains a few pounds and without warning, he gets stuck in the dog door going out to do his business. Of course, you have called for assistance to help free him from his predicament and then you will need to take him to the vet for evaluation. Sounds like an all-day affair.

If you have a dog door but no dog, call your boss and say your kid got stuck in the dog door. The key is to say it with a straight face.

Your Toilet Exploded

Household emergencies happen and it is quite acceptable to take a day off work to have them resolved. But if you have already used the broken water heater excuse, broken furnace excuse and frozen pipes excuse, you need a fresh household disaster. On the perfect day to take off work, that is when you call in to say your toilet exploded. And when you do, offer to go into detail, you will be shut down immediately and allowed to stay at home and carry on with your emergency.

So the next time you want to take a day off work, use one of these excuses. Call Shred Monkeys and request a quote for mobile paper shredding.